Healing after miscarriage can be a long and lonely road. While one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, each loss is so uniquely painful. There is no right way to grieve a miscarriage and it can be easy to feel lost. This post outlines 5 strategies that have proven to be helpful for me in a season of miscarriage.
The weekend of Mother’s Day 2025 we learned we were pregnant with our second child and felt overjoyed! Just a little over one month later in June of 2025, we learned that he did not have a heartbeat and that we had lost him. The grief journey these past few months has been long. There are many ups and downs. Some days are better than others. Overall, we are healing from this loss, but the grief will always be present.
Over the past few months, I have discovered some of the main things that have helped my family and I work through our grief. So many families experience loss in this way and it is common to feel alone. I wanted to share what has helped me through this in the hopes that it would help others grieve in healthy ways, too.
Miscarriage is something that never fully goes away. Even if you experienced a miscarriage many years ago that grief stays with you. I hope these ideas can help you no matter how long ago your loss was. It is never too late to seek healing and find ways to remember your baby.
YouTube Video on Healing After Miscarriage
If you are interested in learning more about my pregnancy, loss, and healing journey, check out the YouTube video where I go into more detail:
5 Things to Encourage Healing After Miscarriage:
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Creativity for Healing After Miscarriage
Art has been proven to be very healing. So, this is something I leaned into after my miscarriage. Shortly after learning my baby was a boy, I felt the urge to paint a picture of him in heaven. I made a nice evening out of the event so that the whole family could paint together.
I also created a shadow box with the ultrasound photos, pregnancy tests, and stickers and fabric with baby prints (note: if you are going to laminate ultrasound photos, be sure to use cold lamination because heat will ruin the pictures). Even though the baby did not have a heartbeat at the time of the ultrasound, I requested his pictures anyway so that I could have something to remember him by. If you have the same opportunity, I recommend getting the photos because being able to look at them has been very healing.
I created art through painting and crafts, but those are not the only artistic methods to express grief. Lean into whatever your strengths are: music, carpentry, dance, etc. Use whatever comes naturally to you to express the love you have for your baby.
Prayer for Healing After Miscarriage
Prayer has been another very beneficial thing for me through this grief process. We have incorporated prayer in many ways, including:
- Praying as a family. We have always prayed as a family and now this topic of loss is something we can pray about together. It offers us a chance to heal together and opens up the floor for our son to talk about anything on his mind regarding the miscarriage.
- Asking for our baby’s intercession. Since our son is in heaven now, we can ask for him to pray for us. This is something we do every night. I will also ask for his intercession at random times throughout the day. I especially ask him to pray that I can be the best mother possible to his brother, and those prayers have really helped in difficult times. I heard once that someone who lost a baby heard from the Lord that we do not ask our little ones to pray for us enough, so I encourage you to add that to your healing journey if you are not already doing so.
- Quiet, individual prayer. I also pray individually, especially on days that the grief is really hard hitting. Finding a place to pray quietly, whether that is at a church, outside, or on my couch, is very helpful on those days.
- Devotionals. Using scripture reading and devotionals about loss have also proven to be very beneficial. My friend brought me a devotional, Gospel Hope in Pregnancy and Infant Loss, after our loss. It was such a kind gift that has led to a lot of healing. You can find more devotionals, books, and resources on miscarriage and child loss here.
Journaling to Heal After Miscarriage
Journaling has also been healing after the miscarriage. I use journaling in several different ways depending on how I am feeling that day. I have:
- Written letters to my son in heaven. These help me feel that I am talking directly to him and can tell him anything I long to.
- Writing prayers and longings of my heart to God. Journaling as a prayerful meditation tool can be so powerful. When something is on my heart and I can’t shake it, writing it down helps me ponder it more effectively. It also gives me a chance to slow down so that I can actually hear what the Lord is trying to say.
- Organizing my thoughts. Often, there are too many thoughts in my head to make sense of them. There have been a lot of anxious days since the miscarriage which make it difficult to think logically. Writing down my thoughts gives me a chance to get them out of my head so I can approach things more clearly.
- As a form of art. There are days that I have no words to write. On these days, I can express myself through art in my journal, either by drawing a picture or simply doodling. This also a good way to slow myself down so I can think more clearly.
There is no one right way to journal. If you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions, I encourage you to find a way to get them on paper. If you need a journal, I have several options for nice journals here.
Gardening to Heal After Miscarriage
Time outside is always beneficial. There have been many days that I have taken walks or even simply sat outside to clear my head during this grief period. Time outside can be even more beneficial with some intention behind it.
Although we have not put this plan into action yet, we plan to create a garden area as a memorial for our son. Gracious family members have offered to purchase trees for us to plant when we have the spot picked out. We plan to choose either fruit or flowering trees that will grow with beautiful abundance each year. I will also most likely add more landscaping in the spot and a sitting area. My goal is to make this space both a memorial for our baby and a safe haven for anyone who is grieving where they can sit, enjoy the serenity, and remember their loved ones.
I am very much looking forward to this garden area and will share more about it when it is complete. If you do not live in a place where a tree or a garden area is an option, then think about smaller options for plants. Something like a pothos plant is very easy to grow indoors and can be a memorial for your little one. Additionally, if you have family members with more land, ask if you can plant a tree there in remembrance of your little one.
Talking About It to Heal After Miscarriage
One of the most helpful things for me after our miscarriage was simply talking about it. Saying it out loud helped me release some of the emotion I had been holding onto. Additionally, being vulnerable gave our family and friends a chance to show us how much they love us in their support. We now have deeper and more meaningful relationships because we let them into our hardship.
- I talked to my husband a lot about our loss. We still talk about it and can be emotional together. We have been each other’s number one supports and I am so grateful for this. Miscarriage also affects fathers very deeply. Some days are more difficult for me and vice versa. Being there for each other when we need it has been fundamental to our healing.
- I talked to my family members. Our family already knew we were expecting at the time of the miscarriage and already loved our little baby too. Talking to them allowed us all to grieve together. Whether it is sharing what helped them through losses or physical support such as watching our son to give us time to heal, our family has been instrumental in our healing process.
- I talked to my friends. We have friends all over the country and all of them have been very supportive. Those farther away have helped with encouraging words, letters, and prayers. Those closer have helped with meals and hugs. I have formed deeper friendships by being vulnerable. I have gained wisdom from those who have lost little ones of their own. Being honest with our friends has been so beneficial for us.
We have received so many blessings from being honest and vulnerable with our loved ones. I know that not everyone has such loving support systems. If you are feeling lonely during a time of grieving a miscarriage, I encourage you to seek support in other ways: online miscarriage groups, individual therapy, group therapy, etc. Having someone to talk to while healing after miscarriage is so beneficial.
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